The year was 2024. The warmth of the spring sun could not contest with the frigid wind in Blackhall Colliery or the icy lump in my chest. Plagued by woes familiar to a few too many immigrant: racial bullying, culture shock, deep aching sadness, borderline hypothermia (clue: cancelled buses) and loneliness, the type that sits with you in a crowd and sucks the air out your chest.

I sat in retrospection, travelling through the days and moments of my journey that led me to this place. Of seemingly fulfilled hopes sitting side by side with non-joy. Of a warm house and a fireless heart. Of choking loneliness in a community of friends. The longer I sat, the louder it resounded.

The defining question? Who are you?

I, like many others, am yet to find answers in entirety but for the purpose of this blog, my online happy place and a safe space for both random and profound thoughts, I will be defining myself by as:

1. Edima the beloved.

My official first name is Victoria, named after the English Queen, Alexandrina Victoria by my royal-enthusiast father. Outside of circles where government names are required, I go by Edima. While I am not very particular about which name gets used(I’m kidding, call me Edima), I will light-heartedly mention that whenever I hear my full name, especially, in a high pitch voice strained by constant irritation, I subconsciously assume that I have gotten on my mother’s last nerve and she is about to perform an exorcism. As in, physically separate my body from the ‘demon‘ of stubborness since we often coexisted like siamese twins during my pre-teen years. If you hang around long enough, I will share my side of the story.

2. Everyday Jesus-ing

My life had quite significant religious influence that shaped my world view before I could put to words what it meant to be a Christian. When my epiphany came, I redefined faith in practice to what I will like to call, everyday Jesus-ing. This looks like forgiving the spiteful, lending to the Lord by giving the poor, inspiring hope in the despondent, refuting classism in fellowship in addition to daily communion through prayers, feasting on God’s word and fellowshipping with believers. Do I fall short more often than not? You can guess. Will I give up? Not now, not ever by God’s grace.

While I admire the aspirations to influence nations for Jesus, I practically, may never have that platform. But I can do everyday Jesus-ing and I am content with that.

3. Bookish

My mother said I started reading when I was 3 but fluency would have probably begun at 4. I can not take credit for this as I owe it partly to my father, an ardent lover of classic literature and partly to the orthodoxy I was raised in, who by demonising visual media left me no other options for entertainment but books.

And by age 7, I started collating books oblivious it would become my solace through secondary school when I experienced what I now understand to be bullying by exclusion. In those confounding days when I desperately longed for acceptance and could not fathom why my ‘friends’ would not want to be seen with me. I’d roll over to the edge of the bed with a book. Unlike teenage cool girls, a book is not afraid of public opinion.

Fiction for me is escapism. While poetry might be alluring, my favourite genre of literature is prose, particularly historical fiction. For context, I read Ken Follet’s World without end (800+ pages) in 2 days. If you are wondering, yes I was jobless and on a semester break from Uni.

4. Wanderer

“Though like the wanderer, the sun gone down, heaven be over me…” Hymn by Sarah Adams.

The English countryside appeals to my wanderlust. Scrambling up hills, descending plains , straining my ankle beyond its designed range of movement and inadvertently grazing shins on rocky terrains gives me the thrill of a high. Wandering is one of the mundane things with no apparent benefit that I find both healing and thrilling.

Some days, I feed birds by the streams, on other days, I watch the town from the hills. The allure remains the same. “Look deep into nature and you will understand everything better.”- Albert Einstein

5. Goodness and Mercy are following me, literally

When the sweet psalmist of Israel wrote: “Goodness and Mercy shall follow you...”,he was referring to me because a few years after I was born, my mother had twin girls and named them, Goodness and Mercy.

I love being an elder sister. Stewarding the gift of God in my siblings is a responsibility I approach with joy and gratitude.

6. I can feel your pulse and I know your pain

When I got inducted into NMCN as a Registered Nurse-Midwife, I was 21. Old enough to be considered legal but too young to fully grasp the impact of the responsibility handed to me via my license. But boy! Has God blessed the works of my hands. From being a midwife in an underserved northern Nigerian community during NYSC year delivering on the average 3 babies per day to practising in Great Britain, I have by God’s help been a beacon of hope and the warm hands to cold hearts. Given the chance, will I choose nursing ? Nope. But am I glad that presented the choices I had I took this path? Of course!

I find a sense of fulfilment and deep satisfaction in easing people’s pain and nursing provides an opportunity to soothe and comfort, regularly.

7. My best friend is 4

Not exactly. But if a toddler declares you their best friend, the only honourable thing to do is get in line. I have worked at different unofficial capacities with children until recently when I signed up to serve in church. It would be extreme to say its the most fulfilling thing I have done but it is also close to the truth.

My whimsy cup is constantly full by viewing the world through the eyes of children by finding joy in mundane things, like beauty in fallen autumn leaves.

8. Cho cho cho, as in, storyteller

After nourishment, shelter and companionship, stories are the thing we need most in the world.”
― Philip Pullman

I find pleasure in articulating and expressing my thoughts. Every idea , from the greatest story ever told, the gospel to the capitalist fuel of marketing campaigns are all communicated via stories. Because like Jimmy Neil Smith said, “We all live in a network of stories. There isn’t a stronger connection between people than storytelling“. I build connections by telling stories, of me, my adventurous life and everything in between. Gentle streams meets a part of this need.

While these may not be satisfying answers as to who I am, they give an insight into what I like and therefore serves its temporary purpose.

Did you say, nice to meet you? Oh darling, the pleasure is mine.

Tutu mkpong.

With Love,

Edima